"Neediness" Is Not a Bad Word

I recently sat in on a phone conference called “Heart of Money” with @MarkHeartofBiz and @jonathanmead, and one segment that really grabbed my attention was Mark’s approach to neediness.

“We are all needy. We can not survive without air, or without rain, or without food provided by other people,” says Mark. “Don’t ignore your loneliness (neediness) so quickly.”

His suggestion was to take a few minutes to yourself to admit and notice all the things you need, all the people and systems you rely on, and to stand in the discomfort of that knowledge.

These few lines really got to me as do-it-yourself has been my approach to most things through out my life. I have a hard time accepting help, or asking for assistance, or even knowing my own boundaries (i.e. biting off more than I can chew). I hate feeling unproductive, or under-productive. I often experience a great amount of anxiety over failure or letting people down.

Stand in the discomfort.

That line got me. I could resonate with it, right away. I’ve been dabbling in some zen techniques lately to help handle overwhelm, so this advice intersected with those. It was the concept of discomfort in the face of neediness that was new to me. Taking the time, dedicated, quite, peaceful time, to allow yourself to be uncomfortable with how little you can do for yourself, is not only humbling, but absolutely uplifting.

Think about it. When was the last time you said thank you, shook a friend’s hand, or hugged your mom in thanks for something they did for you? It felt good, didn’t it? What about the last time you paid to get your car winched out of a ditch, or tipped for great service at a restaurant? All of these examples are instances of giving, and you gave because you were thankful, and you were thankful because these people helped you. Because without them, this or that or the other thing would not have been possible. You were humbled and it felt great.

You can read more about Mark’s business Heart of Business on his website, which has several free resources, as well as some advanced, paid services. On a side note, I don’t make any money by suggesting or linking to things from this blog. I do however, have no problem recommending services, products, and people that work hard to deliver a powerful message.